You’re Sick and You Almost Died, So Don’t Come to my Wedding

The other day I heard from a friend about his son who has addiction. There was a recent overdose on opioids in which he almost died. Luckily there was someone with him to get him help, and he survived. He’s now in treatment and doing well. I was glad to hear he was doing well, but what really struck me in the conversation was that after word of his overdose had gotten around the extended family, my friend’s son was uninvited to his cousin’s wedding.

You’re probably asking why, and I’d love to tell you. I don’t know why. My friend didn’t know why. Were they afraid he’d make a scene and stop breathing during the reception? Where they afraid he’d vomit on the wedding cake? Where they ashamed he was a person with addiction? I have no idea.

But the first thought I had when I heard the story was the title of this article: “You’re sick and you almost died, so don’t come to my wedding.” That’s what overdose in someone with addiction means. It means they are ill, and now they almost died, if they’re lucky. Of course a lot, and increasingly so, aren’t so lucky and do die.

Would we ever call up Aunt Sally during her breast cancer chemo and tell her not to come to the wedding? Would we call up cousin Sal and tell him that after his recent near death experience with diabetic ketoacidosis, we’d rather he stay home? No, we would not. In every other case, where a relative was potentially terminally ill, we’d welcome the chance for just one more family memory. Not so with addiction.

I wrote recently about what people with addiction die of, the disease, ignorance, or cruelty. Too many have to live that way too. Hopefully, one day, we will be able to say that more and more people with addiction live with health and hope and love. Until then social isolation will continue to make the illness worse (the biology of this is described in my book) and we’ll continue to wonder why these addicts don’t just learn from their isolation. “After all, if we were snubbed, we’d change, right?”

So we try to stem that ignorance every day. Just keep telling people you know the truth about addiction. It’s just an illness. It’s just biology. It’s just an act of nature. It just happens. If enough people understood, perhaps we could get to health, and hope and love.

 

Copyright 2016 Howard C Wetsman MD

Author: AddictionDoctor

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